2. Front pages are important too. It doesn't matter if you don't know HTML. In fact, it's better if you don't. Write all the code as fast as possible, not bothering to check for errors. This will ensure that there are spare tags sticking out all over the place as bits of gibberish at the top and bottom of the page. Also, don't worry about things like closing tags or hyperlinks.

You should have plenty of graphics, too. Most of them should involve chubby baby angels, flowers, ribbons, hearts, and unicorns. Pink is always a good background color. Use as many animations and animated GIFs as possible, and auto-playing MIDIs. Use as many fluffy pastel graphics as you can possibly cram into a single page. Don't worry about whether the text will be legible or not. Don't worry about the site's ability to not crash 95% of browsers, either.

3. Content. You should have at least 4 sections:

-The Alters See-N-Say. Remember, the more alters, the better. If you get tired of making up names for them, just give them numbers, or, even better, Greek letters, because this hints at super-secret mind control stuff. Having trouble coming up with enough alters to get the Good Housekeeping Seal of Survivorship? Try these ready-made, tried-and-true roles:

The Seductress (she bats her eyes, flirts, and will fuck anything)
The Satanic Priestess (loves biting the heads off chickens)
The Tough Guy
The Gothy Teenager
The Scared Lil (You should have at least five of these.)
AND, last but not least, the ALL-IMPORTANT Inner Self-Helper! The ISH should always be Irish or Scottish, regardless of the body's ethnicity, and have an accent, which you should try to emulate in typing.

-The Memories Page. This should include words like "dungeon" and "horror" in the title. No matter what, it should ALWAYS be black. Remember, if you don't have at least ONE memory of being forced to eat roasted baby by the men in black robes, you're a dirty, lousy, second-rate excuse for a multiple system.

-The Lils Page. This should run along the lines of "hi were da lilz we dun rite so good but da bigz made dere own page an dere helpin us to mak dis un to." Remember, EVERYONE under the age of fifteen talks this way. This page should include all the fluffy angels and unicorns and teddy bears from the front page and multiply it by a factor or 10. It is perfectly all right to have no content beyond "were gonna ad mor stuf latr." Be sure to specify somewhere that it is a "safe place for lils."

-The Poetry Page. At least one person in your system should be writing poetry. Good topics for poems are angst, wanting to die, self-mutilation, Satan, cults, human sacrifice, blood, being molested, and more angst. To get a good idea of what your poems should sound like, visit a Teen Poetry, Goth Poetry or (best of all) a Teen Goth Poetry page.

4. The Webrings Page. You should join at least 25 webrings and use fluffy angel, teddy bear, and unicorn graphics for all of them. See the advice under "Front Page" on not worrying about crashing browsers or being legible. You should also start your own webring and give it the same name as your page.

5. Awards. Make an "award" for your page to give out. It should include at least one or more of the following words: "courage," "hope," "bravery," "healing," "survivor," "truth," and "journey." It should use the same graphics as the rest of your page. Don't worry about making it small or subtle; in fact, make it as big and browser-overloading as possible. Give this award to every other survivorwhine site you find. They will probably give awards out to you as well.

6. Keep a diary. Whine every day about about your angst and how you haven't left your bedroom in six months because breathing too loudly triggers you.

7. Last but not least, remember your TRIGGER WARNINGS! Remember, every w*rd that sm*cks even r*m*t*ly of c*ntr*v*rsy should be c*ns*red.

Ta da! You now have your very own Survivorwhine Site! Remember, you've done a public service by helping to educate the public about your horrible disorder! Their eyes might be bleeding from all the awful graphics, but they'll never forget the melody to "Wind Beneath My Wings" now.

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